𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲: 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐢 𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐚’𝐬 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

…𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚, 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔.

By Tenzin Euden

Ravi Subba, a 42-year-old former teacher, candidly shares his struggle with alcoholism, marked by numerous relapses. His battle with alcohol dependency began in 2016 and persisted into 2017. Seeking help, he underwent a four-month treatment program at the Paro Rehabilitation Center, also known as Semzang Retreat Center. Upon completing the program, he resumed his teaching position at Kuenga Higher Secondary School in Paro. However, despite his efforts, he experienced a relapse within one to two months of returning to work, ultimately leading to his departure from the profession. Subsequently, he has been an addict for almost 9 years and now, he’s been in recovery for a while.
With the support of his friends, Ravi spent four months in Siliguri at the Goodwill Rehabilitation Center seeking help. Upon his return, he managed to secure a teaching position. However, his battle with alcoholism persisted, resulting in multiple relapses, nearly four times. Ravi confessed, “I don’t have any external influences or family problems that led me to alcoholism; it was solely my own weakness.”

Once addiction took hold, conflicts arose with his parents, sister, and friends. His small family, consisting of his father, mother, and sister, experienced a strained relationship with him as his addiction worsened. Moreover, Ravi was married and had a young daughter. Reflecting on his family life, he lamented, “We were once a happy and peaceful family, but over time, my addiction tore apart our happiness. Day by day, it worsened, leading to the inevitable separation from my wife.” He acknowledged that his addiction and relapses eroded the trust and hope his family had in him. Initially supportive, they eventually withdrew their support, neglecting and ostracizing him as a result.

“After separating from my wife, I found myself with nowhere to turn. Initially considering my parents’ home, I soon realized they were not willing to support me, and I was inevitably kicked out. With no proper shelter or food, I felt I had only one solace: alcohol. However, the lockdown presented additional challenges, intensifying my struggles. At times, I resorted to sleeping at truck parking, where some drivers allowed me to stay when I had nowhere else to go,” Ravi recounted. “I had nothing left; my bank account was empty, and I had no money in hand. This lack of resources made survival incredibly difficult.” Reflecting on his past, Ravi admitted, “During my employment, all my earnings went towards alcohol. I neglected my responsibilities, failing to provide for my daughter or save for the future.”

“During my lowest moments, my driver friends would occasionally offer me small sums of money, around Nu. 100 or 200, to buy food. However, the grip of our cunning alcoholic diseases often led us straight to the bar, where the money would be spent on alcohol,” said Ravi. Even his closest friends began to distance themselves from him during his addiction. They would avoid his calls, anticipating that he would ask for money. Ravi faced numerous challenges, including unemployment and financial instability. Despite his efforts to secure new employment, his past struggles with alcoholism led to repeated rejections from potential employers. “Every time I applied for a job, my past seemed to overshadow my present efforts, resulting in consistent rejections,” Ravi lamented.

“After the lockdown, the principal of Yonten Kuenjung Academy (YK) gave me another opportunity, and I joined the school,” he recounted. However, despite this chance, he experienced another relapse. “Each time I received my salary, my craving for alcohol intensified, and I found myself once again wasting my earnings on alcohol, disregarding the lessons from my past crises,” Ravi added. “The principal kindly assisted me in seeking treatment, but unfortunately, shortly after that, I relapsed again.”

In 2023, he was recruited as an IT teacher at Karma Academy. However, his tenure there was short-lived, lasting only about five months before he relapsed. “After the relapse, I found myself back in Paro, penniless and desperate. I had to resort to selling kitchen items like my rice cooker just to afford a drink,” he admitted. It was at this low point of his life that his friend Vikram, also in recovery from addiction, stepped in to offer support. “I stayed with him for nearly three months, relying on his kindness without contributing anything,” Ravi said.

“After hitting rock bottom, I learned about the Happiness Center in Phuntsholing. I reached out to the Project Director, who offered me assistance. During my time at the center, through counseling and treatment, I began to see the importance of regaining control and getting back on the right track. As I listened to the guidance and engaged in the treatment process, I came to a realization,” Ravi reflected.

He said, “I am growing old with each passing day, and I have a daughter who depends on me. My greatest fear is that she will suffer the consequences of being labeled as the daughter of an alcoholic.” He emphasized that his sole focus now is to stay sober, secure stable employment, and support his daughter’s education. He said that so far, he has been unable to provide any meaningful support, but he is determined to change that.

Ravi has been at the Happiness Center for over four months now, where he remains to ensure that his recovery is both effective and meaningful. Despite lacking parental or family support at present, he holds onto hope that they will re-enter his life. Additionally, his former students have stepped up to support him financially, expressing their concern and desire to help him through this challenging time.

However, Ravi had encountered mixed reactions from society. While some have offered assistance, others have resorted to using derogatory language and treating him as though he’s somehow less than human. Nevertheless, amidst the negativity, there are genuine individuals who recognize the importance of seeking professional help and have recommended rehabilitation as a viable path forward.

Ravi shared that initially, his family stood by him, but after several relapses, he found himself alone. Secondly, his friends stepped in to fill the void left by his family, but their trust eroded over time. Despite these setbacks, Kuenga Higher Secondary School and Norbu Rigter College provided him with opportunities, even though his illness prevented him from reciprocating their kindness. Aum Damcho also offered assistance in Thimphu for treatment. The principal of Yonten Kuenjung Academy extended support, and finally, the Project Director of the Happiness Center supported and aided him in every possible way.

Now, Ravi can proudly say that he is clean and on the path to recovery. As human beings, when we engage in activities like drinking alcohol or using drugs, we often prioritize enjoyment without considering the consequences. However, if we continue to chase enjoyment without restraint, we ultimately gain nothing but a waste of time and a load of regret. Moreover, these behaviors can lead to health problems and strain our relationships with family, friends, and partners, among other issues.

Today, Ravi stands as a testament to resilience and the power of redemption. He emphasizes the importance of seeking help and the need to confront the consequences of addiction. Through his story, he hopes to inspire others to break free from the shackles of addiction and reclaim their lives. In a world where the pursuit of momentary pleasure can lead to irreversible consequences, Ravi’s journey serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of self-reflection and seeking support in times of need.